Validation

Self-Abandonment and Reversal Empathy

Self-Abandonment and Reversal Empathy

Someone asks you to do something or for something…

For whatever reason, your gut says no, your intuition kicks in and subtly tells you, “that doesn’t feel aligned”, or “no, you’re too tired, please prioritize your rest” or “no, I don’t trust that person.”

You feel this feeling but decide to bypass it out of guilt, obligation or a feeling that if you say no you will have to feel the tension of that person’s disappointment so you fake being nice and say yes even though deep down you kind of start dreading whatever it is you’ve agreed to.

You do the thing you agreed to even though you didn’t want to and then, something happens that makes you start to regret the yes…

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Magnetism vs Vampiric Neediness for Approval 

Magnetism vs Vampiric Neediness for Approval 

The nice guy/nice girl persona is one hell of a prison construct.

People pleasing is actually vampiric energy. We want to please in order to get a hit of validation and a feeling that we are liked and good enough.

It makes us completely dependent on the external. We hope others see us a certain way, we hope people think we live an awesome life or that we’re valuable because of something we have or appear to have. We hope the image convinces people that we are somehow enough and that they will stick around and meet our constant need for validation. We think that once we have X number of followers, this much money or this much attention and approval we will finally be happy…

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