The nice guy/nice girl persona is one hell of a prison construct. 

People-pleasing is actually vampiric energy. We want to please in order to get a hit of validation and a feeling that we are liked and good enough. 

It makes us completely dependent on the external. We hope others see us a certain way, we hope people think we live an awesome life or that we’re valuable because of something we have or appear to have. We hope the image convinces people that we are somehow enough and that they will stick around and meet our constant need for validation. We think that once we have X number of followers, this much money or this much attention and approval we will finally be happy. 

Not only are we never happy but we continue to chase more and more thinking at some point there will be a high that lasts. It’s completely unsustainable. 

We try to fill a success void, constantly getting more and yet never being able to enjoy what we’ve already accomplished and created. 

There’s no lasting peace in this people pleasing energy

When we were younger, we probably learned to dissociate from our own centre and please others to survive by getting the validation we longed for momentarily. We left our own emotional body and began sponging energy, becoming reliant and codependent. 

This overcompensation is like an internal hell and often many people develop health issues because their body begins to speak the no that they refuse to say. They come off as very insecure, needy, and disembodied but think they’re tricking others into giving them what they refuse to give themselves because they’re constantly putting out an image of what they think makes others believe they’re so good. People sense this energy and are often repelled or if they respond to it, have a similar wound that creates toxic bonds and attracts a mirror to the wound over and over in different ways. 

Oftentimes, we’re left feeling like a victim because we continue to get rejected and abandoned when we’re so outsourced. The people rejecting and abandoning us are doing us a favor and bringing that pain to the surface and yet, many times we obsess about getting them back or somehow getting their approval because we want to be distracted from the true need in us that wants our attention, our approval, our energy, our love. 

Magnetism comes from being present in our centre and relaxed in the knowing that between us and God we can only feel sustainable peace, abundance, love, success and wholeness. No external being or thing can fill that void. Our own presence and willingness to be with ourselves while having healthy needs, not desperate outsourced vampiric seeking validation energy. 

When someone feels that we’re willing to completely abandon our own emotional compass for what they want, they will not only not give us what we’re desperate to get from them, but they will not have any respect for us and often take advantage of that or treat us like the doormat our energy is telling them that we are. It’s not anyone else’s responsibility or job to constantly validate us and make sure that we feel good enough. The nice guy/girl persona always feels like a victim because it’s convinced it’s so good and others are mean and take advantage of their kindness while their kindness is actually fake and not authentic – authentic kindness is entirely different so it has the opposite effect desired. Their kindness is self-abandonment, codependency and resentment suppressed with an identity of self-sacrifice and martyrdom blended with a willingness to be everything for others. Their own body is not flowing with Source Light which allows for their true magnetism and sustained peace and contentment. It’s like a void that’s trying to suck in energy, even if it’s the bare minimum, to feel worthy. 

Anything you accomplish will feel like a hollow victory if this is your internal consciousness set point because it’s not coming from the right place inside of you. The foundation and energetic intention behind your needs, wants, desires and actions are what you attract and if your intentions are to feel validated or liked, you will constantly be reminded of how empty you truly feel. Energy speaks way louder than words and this kind of vampirism and desperation makes what you want literally run the other way. 

Magnetism is the willingness to be present in your body and not have to prove anything

You will feel sick at the thought of suppressing your true needs/feelings to get anything from another once you heal the wound of taking others’ energy on and not feeling your own. 

If the plane is going down, you’re going to have to put your own oxygen mask on in order to help others. If you’re repelling energy, constantly trying to get more to feel better, feeling insecure and needy for validation, trying to always flex how amazing your life is, constantly wanting more money, followers, clients, dates and likes and never feeling satisfied then you’re probably in a very depleted, parasitic place and people are not buying the lie you’re trying to sell. 

If this core presence isn’t there, you will be unhappy no matter what you accumulate. 

You don’t need more, you need to actually say no to everyone else and find yourself, once you shift this, your magnetism will go through the roof in all areas of your life because it’s a very seamless, undeniable energy when embodied. 

The willingness to fill your own cup first and simply be present and honoring the emotions that arise will be the game-changer you’re looking for ( not more, more, more ) actually less of the external. 

Let go of all the resistance to your own emotions, put your body, energy and emotions first and that’s when you’ll start having real breakthroughs and shift looping patterns that are literally feeding on the energy you’re leaking out from the belief that you need to abandon your own garden and water everyone else’s garden while yours becomes dried up and depleted. 

Who does it serve if your own garden is barren and others get to lay back while you do all the work tending to theirs? 

You need to water your garden and they can water their own. If you both come together unwilling to abandon your inner core self then that’s the kind of energy exchange that will multiply in both of your lives. 

Get your energy from Source and let Source bring new life, new magnetism and new reflections into your life that don’t require you to martyr yourself for a small amount of temporary validation. 

Source lives in the body, in the soul, so presence in the body is essential in order to allow Source to flow through you, sustaining your every need eternally instead of momentarily.

Love You All!

PS: If this post resonated with you I invite you to join the conversation and leave a comment below.